With this Paper, I Give You My Love
by LaDy MaRsHmALLoW
Summary: For him, communicating with others was never easy…talking without speaking is way harder…but sometimes, all you need is one person and everything would fall into place.


**Title: **With this Paper, I Give You My Love

**Summary: **For him, communicating with others was never easy…talking without speaking is way harder…but sometimes, all you need is one person and everything would fall into place.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything, just the plot of whatever you call this.

**Warnings: **HaruRin (coz, I honestly believe these two deserve a warning of their own), weird symbolisms (I'm not good with that stuff but I tried), BL, OOCness (again, I tried), and the usual weirdness.

**.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.**

**~"With this Paper, I Give You My Love"~**

"_Communicating with others is essential._"

Those were the words his grandmother told him, maybe a little too much, that it had been engraved in his mind, repeating itself over and over again whenever he refuses to interact with others. It should be normal for him not to speak, 'Nanase Haruka' was someone who tends to keep to himself after all; but those words, every time he was ignoring someone, would just pop-up inside his head, making him feel guilty as if he was disobeying his dear grandmother. So he would try his best, he really would, to talk and at least convey something, but because he was never good with words, it had never been easy. If he wasn't misinterpreted, there was always this problem of saying the wrong thing. It was for this reason that he often finds himself wishing for talking to be as easy as being in the water, like how all you have to do is learn how to dive, and float, and swim, and be free, that you don't have to carefully think about what to say and how to say it—he was also told that words are the most powerful weapon there is. But then, once again, wishes are called wishes for a reason. Talking…_communicating_, was never easy, you wouldn't be able to find sentences—not even a single letter, actually—on every fallen leaf you would come across.

Nevertheless he knew there were times that he would have to talk, because he was fully aware of the people who need to hear something for them to understand and _believe._ He knew he needed to speak to be able to get to them, to be able to _reach_ them.

But how would he do that when he was never good with words?

Being the smart person he was, he decided to talk without actually speaking; he began to draw. He drew things he hoped would help get his point across, various objects that he thought would let others know what he felt; artworks that would show others of the emotions he hid, sketches that would talk for him when he was too afraid to do it himself.

He thought it would make things easier, that he wouldn't have to worry about communicating with words…

…_he thought_…

**.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.**

The first time Haruka tried to tell a few people what he felt by drawing, none of them understood.

They were all hanging out over at his house, just a week after Rin had left for Australia and both Makoto and Nagisa kept asking him about things, things he didn't know how to answer. So, without hesitation, he grabbed his sketch pad, a pencil and before he knew it, he was drawing something.

The art was a little bit sloppy, the pencil he used making impressions on the other pages found underneath it. Hesitantly, he showed it to them, wondering if they would get what the drawing was…

"Is this supposed to be a treasure map, Haru-chan?" Nagisa asked after staring at the drawing for who knows how long. "But why is the 'X' missing?"

…or rather what it was supposed to mean.

"You really draw weird stuff sometimes, Haru."

And Haru sighed; Makoto didn't know it either, even though his best friend knew what he was thinking almost all the time. Maybe it was because Makoto was not really into art? He honestly didn't know.

"Maybe because there was really no treasure, isn't that right Haru-chan?"

"Yes." was the only answer Haruka could come up with.

And when the two left, he couldn't help but to stare at the fake map he had made, the most important thing, the 'X' marker, nowhere to be found.

"_I feel like something's missing._"

**.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.**

The second time he did the same thing, the reaction he got hadn't been that different. The words he wanted to say had remained buried in the dark lines of the sketch he made, unable to resurface.

"What is this supposed to mean, Nanase-kun?" His Art teacher asked, looking extremely confused at the piece of paper he had submitted. Ahh, so even her was unable to _hear_ what he was trying to say.

His sketch was of a sea bird, the feathers from both its wings trimmed, it's whole body wrapped with what looked like tiny metal chains whilst its talons was shown to be gripping a tiny broken pearl. It wasn't that hard to interpret, was it?

"Nothing," He had said, "It meant absolutely nothing."

And they both leave it at that; the lady still confused at what the middle-school student meant by the art and Haruka still wondering if there would ever be someone who would hear his silent voice, who would understand his soundless words.

"_By hurting him, I was chained down by guilt, unable to soar._"

**.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.**

The third time he drew something, he decided to make it simple, a wine glass caught mid-motion right after it hit the ground and shattered into many pieces. He hoped that with this, they would easily pick-up the emotions gnawing inside his chest, only to be disappointed yet again.

"This is beautiful, Haruka-senpai." Rei had said. "You should draw like this more often."

Watching the rest of the team agree with the glasses-wearing teen, all of them nodding enthusiastically and praising his art skills, the black haired teen asked himself if it truly was beautiful, not knowing if he actually wanted to draw another similar art. As such, he remained silent once more.

"_Is there still a chance to piece back everything that was broken?_"

**.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.**

The fourth time he had sketched something, he had sworn it would be the last. No one understands him whenever he draws something anyway. It was just the same as when he was speaking. Everything was misinterpreted, nothing was coming out remotely correct and it was tiring. Besides, after the events that had happened not so long ago, he was beginning to learn how to communicate. This time, properly and with the use of words.

So carefully, he let his hands guide the colored pencil upon his grip, watching as streaks and streaks of colors slowly began to fill the once clean paper, creating lines, curves, and shapes as it glided lightly on the white sheet until he achieved what his mind envisioned. Smiling softly to himself, the blue-eyed teen ran his eyes over his finished art, a colored sketch of a desert during a rare rainfall, various flowers—the kind that only blooms for a day— were scattered in the sand, happily welcoming the cool droplets of the crying sky, accepting and embracing the miracle that was the rain. Happy with how it turned out, the 'dolphin' gently closed the sketch pad, looking pleased with himself.

Everything was changing for the better, and for now, that was more than enough.

"_Thank you for returning to my side._"

**.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.**

Haruka had already accepted the fact that no one would understand the meaning behind all the sketches he made; he believed he may have made it so vague that everything was almost impossible to interpret.

He was wrong.

_So very, very wrong._

And it even came out as a surprise that the one who easily heard his silent voice was the person he least expected it to. The teen assumed that he was giving _him _less credit than he should.

Because _he_ understood, Rin did.

The moment the redhead flipped open his sketchpad and fell silent at the sight of his first art, that marker-less treasure map, the black-haired male realized that somehow, in one way or another, Rin heard his soundless voice.

"Were you able to find it, Haru?" Rin had asked him, red eyes staring intently on the paper in his hands, "The missing object you were looking for," smiling that precious smile of his after he had told him that he finally found it.

At first, Haru would admit, he had thought that the other male was simply guessing the meaning of the map—Rin was smart after all—however, the moment when Rin paused, remaining silent for a long period of time as he took in the picture of the 'bound sea bird', Haru was convinced he wasn't just guessing, leading the blue-eyed male to think then, that maybe, it was because the art was related to him that Rin was able to understand it in a way no other people could.

"You know, that wasn't really your fault right?" The male Matsuoka mumbled, not daring to spare a glance at the other occupant of the room, only looking up when the dolphin told him that it wasn't his fault either.

"I'm sorry," Rin had whispered next, his eyes staring at the broken wine glass drawn neatly on the white paper.

Seeing those red eyes slowly becoming moist, Haru repeated his previous words, not wanting to see the other cry, "None of what happened was your fault."

But the tears did fall at the last 'masterpiece', the only colored artwork, the 'desert miracle'.

Haru made no move to stop the other from crying though…rather, he wasn't given the chance, as the other teen quickly threw himself at him, hugging him tightly, just like he did before.

"_Thank you for bringing me back._"

And Haru smiled.

**.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.**

Haru knew he had sworn that he wouldn't draw again to communicate; however, he could, most definitely, not stop himself, especially after knowing that there was actually someone who knew what everything meant for real, that there was at least one person in the universe who could bring out every hidden word behind the smallest lines from his drawings. Besides, drawing something symbolic is way easier than actually talking when what you wanted to say is something like _that_.

So once more, Haru found himself drawing, ignoring the other members of the Swim Club—namely Makoto, Nagisa, Rei and Gou— who wouldn't stop pestering him about his new masterpiece.

When he was done and showed it to the other four, all of them looked at him, slightly gaping like fishes out of water.

There was nothing shocking about what he had created, was there?

It was a simple drawing of a cheery blossom tree in full bloom, its pink petals scattered all around while bellow it, a single blanket was laid where a picnic basket sat innocently, the two plates that was almost covered with the fallen petals were also not missed.

Right after the four finished gawking at both him and the sketchpad, Haru realized that the others' somehow surprisingly seemed to know what his drawing meant this time—the knowing smile Makoto was giving him, the serious and almost threatening look from Gou, Nagisa's overly enthusiastic shouts of 'good luck Haru-chan' and Rei's 'why didn't I see this coming' look were dead give-aways that they do know—which made Haru feel more confident, as weird as it sounds.

And when it was Rin's turn to look at the drawing he had made, the blue-eyed teen made sure that he had his phone with him. He would definitely not miss whatever reaction the redhead would make.

Ah, there it is, Haruka thought as red suddenly crept up Rin's cheeks, smiling as the 'shark' let out a huff followed by, "You took so long, Haru.", and then shyly, "Of course I will."

"_I love you. Will you go out with me?_"

**.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.**

Rin furrowed his brows as his boyfriend of five and a half years suddenly handed him a sketchpad, red eyes blinking in confusion upon noticing that it was the same sketchpad that the black-haired male had been working on for over a week and that it was the one Haru wouldn't even let him touch. Tilting his head a little bit sideways, Rin wondered if he should flip it open or not.

Noticing the redhead's confusion and hesitation, Haruka's lips quirked upwards in a tiny smile, his eyes shining with love and fondness, "Open it."

And Rin did just that.

The dark haired male watched carefully as Rin took in every sketch, red eyes focused intently on everything that was drawn on every page, filling up the spaces of the white papers. There were no symbolism present in what he had drawn and yet Haru knew it would make Rin happy. It would make _both_ of them happy.

First was a simple drawing of the ocean, on the next page was a cozy house followed by a sketch of a bedroom whose wallpapers were patterned with two water creatures—a dolphin and a shark—then two pairs of slippers, one pair was in red, the other blue. The next few pages were also filled with plain drawings of common domestic things that goes in pairs; mugs, toothbrushes, and a few others.

Watching Rin trying to hold back tears—the redhead had always been a softie—Haru couldn't help but let out one of his rare smiles, the kind of smile that was reserved only for the male before him.

"Haru…" Rin whispered, his hold on the sketchpad tightening, indicating that he had finally reached the last page, the page where Haru drew the most important thing.

There on the last page, two roses were drawn, their stems intertwined.

"Did you like it, Rin?"

A blur of red and Haru found himself being tackled on the floor, making him chuckle.

Then a breathless, teary and yet completely overjoyed voice whispering lowly, "Yes...on both questions."

Slowly, Haru reached out, raising his hand to gently caress the face of the male on top of him, leaning upwards to press his lips over the other, kissing the red-eyed male softly in an act to convey his overwhelming feelings for the other, feelings returned with the same overwhelming intensity. Blue and red fluttered shut as both savored the moment.

And after an eternity, they broke away. Contentment, gentleness, devotion and love were undeniably present on both of their features; kiss swollen lips curved up into tiny special smiles.

Everything had never been so perfect.

"_I want to stay by your side. Will you marry me?_"

**~END~**

**.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.**

**A/N:** Nope, please don't look at me; I don't know what this is either. But anyhow, I hope you guys enjoyed this one. HaruRin is so lovely I couldn't get enough of them. Also please pardon any grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, I don't think I was able to find all of them.

Thank you for reading!


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